


Forgotten Emotions

by poisonous_panda



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Confusion, Crush, Deception, F/M, Heartwarming, Realization, mission
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 10:34:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15141242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisonous_panda/pseuds/poisonous_panda
Summary: As usual Ardyn is pulling the political strings but there's an occasion he needs female help. But then YOU damn well come onto the scene as a hired mercenary to help with a task and Ardyn starts experiencing something he'd long forgotten





	1. The Mission

You and the Chancellor had got to know each other over the last few months, he had met you through his colleague Commodore Highwind because you were one of her ragtag crew of mercenaries.

He was on the lookout for someone to act as his 'date' or 'escort' to an important political gathering, but Aranea was definitely out of the question. With her no-shit attitude, strong personality and bundles of confidence, there's no way she would fit into such a setting. The Chancellor quietly admits he couldn't see the mission becoming a success with such a woman on his arm. 

So Aranea had suggested you. You weren't as strong-willed as her, although you're by no means a pushover. But you could take those kind of sickly fake settings into your stride whereas she had very _very_ little patience for it.

So you had agreed on the job for several thousand gil. After all, all you needed to do was look pretty, smile and fawn over the rich men you'll meet, get in with the other Ladies of the Court and do your best to bring them on side with tales of how enchanting or sweet and sensitive the Chancellor is. Basically your job was to be his spokesperson in such a densely packed political zoo.

Not caring what Ardyn wanted from these people and why he needed them to hold him in such high regard, you set about getting to know the man. He very often shied away away from the public eye, only really putting himself in the spotlight when necessary, so not much is known about him. But Ardyn was truly an accommodating man.

He'd take you to all the fancy restaurants around Gralea City Centre so you knew where all those posh hotshots spent their time - you were also able to learn tidbits about the Chancellor that a woman on his arm should know, like his favourite food, favourite beverage, cute mannerisms etc. And he could learn the same of you. After all, you can't learn a lot about someone just by talking to them because there may be something they don't realise about themselves - for example, when the Chancellor ate, he was very conscious about dropping food on his attire and would occasionally look down at his lap to check himself, yet it didn't seem like he was aware of it.

If you weren't out eating he'd be taking you to the latest shows at the theatre so you and the Ladies of the Court would have something to talk about. Some you enjoyed, some you didn't, but as Ardyn reminded you "That's the point my dear, better to have a bad opinion on something that these vultures will speak of than no opinion at all". And he was right, you didn't want to be left silent and lost among these people or you'll quickly be left in the dust.

"Politics is a fickle game" Ardyn would constantly say.

So when you had spent several weeks going on outings with each other, you both felt comfortable enough together by the time this big party came around.

\-----

The Grand Hall was just as you imagined it. White and peach marble everywhere. an impossibly high ceiling with glass panes to allow perfect viewing of the stars and the moonlit sky. And gold, gold, gold galore! Gold furniture, gold embellishments in the corners or at the top of the marble pillars around the edges of the room... it was all very extravagant. But then you knew it would be from the second you stepped out of Ardyn's car onto the smoothly paved drive, because the house looked more like a mansion. 

Everything was unnecessarily big and unnecessarily grand. 

Still, in your full length gown you strutted over to your 'date' and linked arms with him, both of you genuinely smiling at each other. You had grown to enjoy each other's company and it was amusing to you both just how _fake_ you'll have to act tonight. He had brought you your favourite perfume and the ball gown was in your favourite colour. He insisted on it because in his golden eyes "you will appear as comfortable as you feel" so he wanted you at ease as much as possible. You kept telling him the thousands of gil he was paying you did that, but he wouldn't listen.

Upon arriving, a waiter took Ardyn's trenchcoat and the shawl you had draped around your shoulders to keep the chilly air at bay, then you were free to enter.

Fat, older, well-dressed men descended on Ardyn in an instant.

"Ah Chancellor! So good to have you here!"  
"My dear Mr. Izunia! What a pleasure!"  
"Oh good man! Glad you could make it!"

It all seemed tedious, but the Chancellor took it in his stride, greeting these men back as falsely as they had greeted him; all the while his arm never left yours so you didn't get separated in the sea of suck-ups.

A particularly large, grey haired man addressed you too.

"My what a beautiful young lady, if only we could all have the Chancellor's luck ay!" 

He had stooped slightly to take your hand and plant a kiss on it with his wet swollen lips.

Nevertheless you played your part of gracious maiden, batting your eyelashes and fawning over the powerful men leering at you. This ridiculousness carried on until all the men had left their saliva on the back of your hand and you felt your cheeks aching from all the smiling.

Eventually Ardyn rescued you.

"Shall we retire gentlemen? After all we do have business to discuss, and I'm sure the ladies would not like us to bore them."

"Quite right! Ladies, if you would excuse us," says the holder of the party - you'd forgotten his name but he was a slimy looking guy with his blonde hair slicked back over his head - "we shall retire to my brandy room."

And off they went. You were left with a group of women who looked like they were planets away from your lifestyle. Your gown was full length and stunning, but these women were leagues ahead of you - lace puffing up here and there wrists and fingers practically dripping in jewels, and their hair full of accessories. Yet in conversation you could hold your own - you knew all the plays they gushed about, you'd ate at the fancy restaurants they mentioned when trying to compete whose husband had spent more on them, and you could join in laughing at the men's funny habits. These women were utter airheads, but despite the fact you wouldn't have given them a moment of your time in real life, you played your part well and you slipped in how wonderful Ardyn could be to you in private. It seemed to captivate these women that the enigmatic Chancellor had a warmer, more passionate side and you let your imagination run wild to woo these women.

You told them how open he is to embrace, which made the woman in the pink dress very envious as her husband treated her more like a trophy. You told them how liberal he is with gentle kisses on your cheeks and shoulders during everyday life, vividly imagining and describing how his stubble tickles and he's so mischievous he _knows_ and does it all the more...

You hadn't realised how much you was genuinely enjoying these little fantasies with the Chancellor until one of the women giggled and said "Oh my dear, how red you've gone!". And she was right. After pointing it out, you could feel the heat. And there was a tiny knot in your stomach. You giggled back to her, but almost partly to yourself. It seemed you enjoyed fantasizing about the Chancellor as much as any other woman. Nobody could deny how ashing and charming he was, so you felt no shame.

Eventually, when the women were beginning to bore you with their talk of designer dresses, the men returned.

"We have returned ladies, I do hope you haven't missed us too much." smiled the slimy blonde guy.

You had to stifle a giggle as Ardyn rolled his eyes behind the blonde man.

"Oh dear I missed you terribly." gushed the lady in the pink dress, sidling up to him and widening her eyes adoringly. All an act, as you now know. She was just his trophy; more fool her for not getting paid like you was. As much as you had started enjoying the Chancellor's company.

All the men and their women respectively paired up and made their way to the dance floor as some classical music began playing.

"Did you manage... whatever it was you needed?" you asked Ardyn.

"They seem to like my proposals, shall I bore you with the details?" he retorts, his eyes twinkling mischievously as he took your hand and led you onto the dance floor among the others.

"Only if you're willing to pay more." you giggle, and he heartily chuckles back.

Assuming the dance positions he had taught you, you both held each other's hand while your free hand was on his shoulder and his other hand was on the small of your back.

"How was it with the Ladies?" Ardyn asks you, "As ghastly as I imagine?"

"Nah they were alright," you tell him honestly, "Thank you for all the dinners and the theatre trips, You were right, it made conversation flow a lot more comfortably and believably." 

"Honestly my dear, I enjoyed them." he's smiling at you now, and it seemed genuine enough.

"So did I. I had so much fun describing all these imaginary scenarios with you. You should've seen those women, I thought they were going to _actually_ turn green with envy!" you couldn't help but splutter in giggles recalling their faces.

"Oh dear, is that why our dear host over there looks like he's getting an earful?" Ardyn asks, and when you look at him he nods his head in the direction of the guy with slicked back blonde hair and - sure enough - his lady is scolding him for something. Chancing a glace around, you see all the women you were with earlier seem slightly unhappy with their gentlemanly dance partners.

"Whatever did you tell them I wonder?" Ardyn almost cackles, not even trying to hide the fact he's enjoying himself.

"Oh you know, every woman's dream." you giggle nonchalantly, knowing full well he will want to know even more.

"You know, if you women were a little more open, us men wouldn't be so baffled by your feminine mystique," Ardyn's trying to be mock-sexy, but you can see he wants to laugh.

"Well..." you look up at the glass-paned ceiling, pretending to be lost thought, "I told them you're very open to cuddles, pretty much on my demand-"

"Ohh! Your _demand_?" Ardyn laughs, not taking his eyes off your face. 

"Isn't that what every woman wants?" you ask him, smiling.

"No idea." he playfully shrugs, closing his eyes then opening them to fit you with a playful golden stare.

"Well... Obviously I didn't go too... rude," you try to explain as vaguely as possible, "but among the cuddles, I said you're very liberal with the kisses you dish out-"

"Oh am I?" he purrs in playful surprise.

"And-" suddenly your words got stuck in your throat. You never was too embarrassed until this moment, but now you had to tell the man himself. That tiny knot in your stomach has made an uncomfortable return.

"Hmm?" Ardyn hums at you, aware of your sudden change in demeanor, "Everything alright?"

"Yeah sorry just, more embarrassing telling you than them!" you laugh at your own foolishness, this is what you're getting paid for after all. "I told them you know your stubble tickles me... and you're just mischievous enough to do it on my cheek or shoulder when I'm offguard or distracted."

Your face felt a little hot admitting it, but you did secretly like the idea. You wasn't blushing like wishing the ground would swallow you up, but you definitely felt some heat.

To your delight, Ardyn actually laughed out loud, and neither of you were bothered when others stared. 

"Well, it seems you know me better than I know myself!" the Chancellor laughs, and he pulls you in for a hug, playing up to the stares of your audience. Your nose nuzzled into his silky shirt, smelling deliciously of some spice or another. 

The tempo of the music slowed down and there where gasps from the others on the dance floor. You both back up a little off each other - hands still in their positions though - and follow the crowd's gaze upwards.

Fireworks were exploding overhead, perfectly framed by the glass-paned ceiling with it's gold details.

Mesmerized, you hadn't notice Ardyn tilt his head closer. When you did lower your gaze, all your saw was his shocking mane of red hair as he planted a kiss on the side of your neck. Taking your advice, he also brushed his lips against your skin so his stubble made your skin tingle. Playing up to the Ladies from earlier who you knew was watching, you closed your eyes and seemed momentarily lost in the moment - although honestly it wasn't too far from the truth. This is definitely one of the more enjoyable missions you've ever undertaken.

He lifts his head to meet your gaze, and gives you a playful kiss on the tip of your nose and you giggled like a teenager; although that was honest, that wasn't for your audience.

"I see my money was well spent." Ardyn quips, "You've been a pleasure to spend time with, and an invaluable help despite your reluctance to know details of what I'm doing."

"Anytime, you pay well." you smirk at him.

Suddenly a loud voice echoes around the Hall. It's the blonde host addressing everyone on a small stage at the front of the Hall, and he was standing in front of a microphone stand. The woman in the pink dress clinging onto his arm like the trophy wife she is.

"Ladies and gentleman, thank you very much for gracing me with your presence this evening. I hope you have thoroughly enjoyed yourself as we have. But alas, all good things must come to an end. I bid you all goodnight, feel free to take as much food as you wish from the buffet table on your way out."

With that he and his Lady bowed to the audience and walked off the stage.

"That's our cue to leave." Ardyn said, "Let us not outstay our welcome."

"My feet are killing me anyway." you moan, to which Ardyn just chuckled.

Arm in arm, you and the Chancellor take your leave after collecting his trenchcoat and your shawl, and he drives you home.


	2. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ardyn and Gilgamesh aren't as estranged as us players have been led to believe. After 2000 years, Gil is still being Ardyn's guide

It was late Wednesday afternoon, and Ardyn was sitting at his office desk in the Gralean government building, and he was getting antsy. He was bored - which wasn't unusual with office work - but his routine had been disrupted. 

Wednesday was the day he tended to take a certain female mercenary out to dinner to sample Gralea's high life. He had advised Wednesday as the best day because it was the middle of the week so it was less likely that a large crowd would be in the restaurants. That meant he and the mercenary could discuss the plan, and she (you) wouldn't seem too out of place if you made an etiquette mistake. 

But he hadn't seen you in almost 3 weeks.

Swiveling slightly on his office chair, Ardyn rests the side of his face on his knuckles.

"Whatever shall I do today now you're not here? I've been so focused on that mission, I've forgotten all else." he mutters to himself, surprising himself with how much he missed your presence. 

A few more still minutes pass before Ardyn rummages in the pocket of his trench coat hanging on a hook on the back of his door and fishes his wallet out. He had trouble remaining still nowadays.

It's black leather and has silver designs in the corners, much like the pointy designs on the bottom of his trench coat.

Flipping it open, he looks at the photograph in the translucent slot. It's one of you and him. Nothing special, but every time he took you out he was sure to get a photo on his phone. It was to ensure you had physical proof of your 'relationship' should either of you get questioned about anything that was discussed the night of the mission. It made everything more authentic and believable.

But he was really fond of this photo. You were just sitting side by side, drinks in hand at a theatre viewing box and smiling at the camera. This particular show had taken so long to come on that you had both started getting really bored and a little silly together. Behind the photograph on show is a daft one of you both pulling faces - you've scrunched your face up and Ardyn has poked his tongue out. Of course he was never going to let anyone else see that.

Looking at it, the Chancellor appeared to not notice the entity that materialized behind him. A monstrously tall man clad in armour with long blonde pigtails, yet he had a kind, wise face.

"You've grown fond of the company." the spirit states.

Ardyn let out a little chuckle. He knew the spirit was right. 

"Only a little," he smiles wryly, "But it was for the Ball so I could get closer to those in our Council. I do grow weary of the needless debates, so getting them all on the same page about the so-called Lucian threat before the beloved Chosen is born was vital."

"But you had fun." the spirit stated again.

"Oh very much so Gil, it has been a while." Ardyn turns while smiling warmly, finally acknowledging the spirit, "If you came up from that pit every so often you'd learn a thing or two."

"I have sworn my duty to train the Shields and ban-"

"And banish those deemed unworthy, yes I realise your task." Ardyn interrupts, flapping his hand at Gilgamesh as he wanders back to his desk and takes a seat, wallet still in hand. The spirit only rolled his eyes at the Chancellor.

"Feelings are not a weakness." Gilgamesh says after a pause, fully aware it would annoy Ardyn.

"Oh I am very much aware, they rule me every day. The Six, the _Blood Royal_..." Ardyn spits the last two words with venom and his facial features are contorted with the hatred festering within him.

"That's not what I meant." the spirit says gently.

Ardyn cocks his head to the side and fixes Gilgamesh with a quizzical look. 

"Your plan is running smoothly. But like I tell the other Shields, metal _and_ mettle are needed for the battle." the former General answers.

"I am an accomplished warrior, more powerful than I ever was in my mortal life, and I was to be crowned King. Do you question if I have mettle?" Ardyn's words get low, almost dangerous. He doesn't like being spoken down to. "So yes I have had some trouble concentrating as of late, but I am an extremely old man - thankfully I have aged much better than Ramuh."

"I fear... this is one battle you are ill-equipped for." the spirit answers, appearing to relax, and he even sat on a chair against the wall adjacent to Ardyn's desk.

After a brief moment of thought, Ardyn chuckles.

"And what battle is this, old friend? You believe I'm so incapable of dealing with boredom that I need your help?" the disgraced King asks, a kind smile on his lips as he looks at the spirit. He genuinely seemed to have no idea what was going on inside his own heart.

With that, the spirit lets out an exaggerated sigh.

"You blame boredom. Must I always tell you what's right in front of you?" the Shield pokes fun. 

Ardyn chuckled back, "Only when you speak in riddles dear friend! What battle? At the moment the only battle I am waging is one to understand you. So my routine has changed of late since attending that ghastly Ball, but I have had many a routine in the last few thousand years. As for boredom... I am well acquainted with that enemy too. So I ask again - what battle?"

"The one you have set yourself up for." his ethereal friend smiles.

Realization dawns on the Chancellor's face.

"Well of course, you know what must be done when the _Chosen_ King arrives in this world." that venom is in Ardyn's voice again.

"Oh dear friend," Gilgamesh lets out a dry chuckle, "Two thousand years and you still need me to hold your hand." 

Gilgamesh slouches in his seat and looks with smugness at the Chancellor.

"If I didn't know better and was unaware you're just a mere projection, I'd throw something at you." Ardyn threatens good-naturedly.

"That temper of yours had you throwing things regularly." Gil pointed out, recalling a time many millennia past when the hotheaded red haired First King wasn not as in control of his temper as he is now.

"You always knew how to push me." Ardyn threw back, smirking at the memories.

Gilgamesh's face turned serious for a moment.

"Yet you seem unaware of how to push yourself."

"Gil... Stop playing games." Ardyn was getting fed up.

"Resilience of the spirit cannot be bourne through one trial alone. You have patience even the Gods may envy, but life should not be one straight line, one goal. Obsession can blind you to everything else. Where you grow strong in a part of life, so you shall weaken in another." Gilgamesh lectures his old friend.

Ardyn leans back in his chair, seriously considering Gil's words.

".... I see what you're up to. You never did like it when I obsessed over something." Ardyn side-eyes the spirit.

"Ardyn..." the spirit stood up and walked to the Chancellor's desk, positively towering over the sitting politician. 

Ardyn just met his gaze, not even flinching when Gil moved his gaze to the still-open wallet on the desk showing the photograph Ardyn was staring at earlier.

There was a long, uncomfortable silence. But Gilgamesh knew he had to wait. In the end, it was the right thing to do. Ardyn suddenly stood up and rounded on the General.

"What am I supposed to do? Abandon everything on some flight of fancy?" he roared, throwing his wallet and propelling it through the air until it hit his office door with a loud thud, "Am I supposed to just let the _Chosen_ assume his throne when he feels like making an appearance in this world and comes of age?! I _will not_ undo everything that has been planned just because there's a person I would rather have by my si-" 

The Chancellor went rigid for a moment and went utterly silent. 

Gilgamesh waited. And eventually, Ardyn clocked on to what ailed him.

Ever so softly, Ardyn whispers "Loneliness... that's the battle you were referring to." 

"We are born alone and are destined to die alone. Some tribulations we must also endure alone - as terrible as they may be. But some we may want or need to seek help. Not all battles are fought alone, and recognizing when one needs the accompaniment of another is more often than not a strength rather than weakness." Gilgamesh advises.

Then to Gilgamesh's surprise, his Fallen King began to laugh. Laugh and laugh and laugh. He had both hands splayed on the desk supporting his weight as he was almost helpless with this somewhat dry dark laugh.

"Oh dear friend," Ardyn begins as he pulls himself together, not removing his hands from his desk, "I do believe that young lady has wiggled her way into my heart."

Gilgamesh just smirks and nods, biting his tongue on a scathing remark at the obliviousness of his friend.

"I do miss her, and I miss her company. I miss the way she makes me feel at ease and the way she makes me laugh. She even makes me momentarily forget all this nonsense with the Six! Of course no plans have to change, but another ally in my pocket can't hurt."

"An ally?" Gilgamesh asks deliberately, a smirk almost breaking his facial muscles.

"... Maybe a little more than that. Would you believe a man like me still capable of falling for another? And would you believe I am really fed up of being in my own company so much?" the Chancellor looks up at his friend, his eyes full of both dark humour and genuine pain. A mix only he could carry elegantly in those sunshine eyes.

"Such are the many trials that strengthen the spirit." Gilgamesh replies.

"She did say she enjoyed herself when we were courting, I'm sure inviting her out again without any strings this time could still be just as pleasant?" the old fool was simply rambling to himself now, so Gilgamesh remained stoic.

Sinking into his chair and opening a drawer in his desk, Ardyn retrieves a black mobile phone. Gilgamesh was right though. Ardyn had been alone for so long with his schemes and thoughts, he'd forgotten the basic need for companionship. Powering it up, he taps away at the screen to send a message to send to you.

 _Hello. I did so enjoy our last few outings, it is strange not to see you now. Forgive my abruptness but may I have the pleasure of your company soon despite the mission being a success? No monetary strings attached this time_

With the message sent, he glances up at his ethereal friend - only to find him gone.

"Alone again." Ardyn mutters to himself as an unfamiliar dark feeling swept over him.

Although it would seem not for long, as it did not take long for his phone to vibrate on the desk with your answer to him.


End file.
